Keeping In What Wants to Come Out

Thursday morning dawned bright and early after a rough night’s sleep. I couldn’t stop thinking about what could be going wrong with my body and the baby. Thankfully HandyMan was able to take the day off to go with me to the doctor and got Blue ready to spend the day with his grandpa. Once we were all ready to go, we left for Indianapolis. After dropping Blue of with HandyMan’s dad, we were officially on our way to the high risk doctor’s office in Indy. HandyMan and I were both nervous, not knowing what to expect and very quiet during the drive.

After receiving sketchy information from my OB the day before, we were really excited to find the right doctor’s office on the first try. And then it was time to wait – again. I usually don’t mind waiting for the doctor, but this week it was really hard. I was so nervous and scared and just wanted to know what was going on and what I needed to do to keep my baby in instead of out.

When my name was finally called, HandyMan and I went into the examination room where there was an ultrasound set up. The ultrasound tech immediately began to examine my cervix and the baby to see what was going on. She started looking at the cervix and after taking a few measurements she briefly left the room before returning to measure the baby. When she was completely done with the ultrasound we knew more than we had the day before. First off, we got a really good look at baby’s bottom and are confident that baby #2 is a GIRL! (Yay!) We also learned that my cervix was just over 1cm long and that I was, in fact, starting to dilate. The ultrasound tech told us that she had ordered a wheel chair because she thought we would be sent to the hospital after the doctor examined me. What!?!? When I had left the house that morning, it NEVER occurred to me that I could be going straight to the hospital!

The doctor arrived a few minutes later and after looking at the ultrasound pictures and actually examining my cervix, he determined that a cerclage would be the best option for us. We were told that we could choose to go home and do nothing or use some hormone treatments to attempt to keep things from progressing, but those options were not nearly as effective as a cerclage and we would very likely have a pre-term baby if that is what we chose to do. We definitely didn’t want that, so we opted for the cerclage. The doctor used the ultrasound to guide a needle in for an amniocentesis, so they could check for infection in my uterus and then sent me to the hospital. The part I left out was that I was an emotional wreck. It’s not fun to watch the doctor push a needle in through the stomach, into the uterus and amniotic sack. The womb is supposed to be a safe place for baby to grow and develop, not a place where she could get poked with a needle! Thankfully our baby girl, somehow, knew to lay still and the procedure went off without any problems.

Then it was just a waiting game.

We had to wait 24 hours for the test results to come back. Those were the most nerve-wracking, emotional 24 hours of my life. We had visitors that evening, which was nice. I’ve never really appreciated people who take time to visit those in the hospital before, but it has been so nice to have company. They allowed me to keep my mind off the scary things and focus on doing what I need to do at that moment to keep my baby safe. The hardest part was when my in-laws brought Blue to visit. I really, REALLY, wanted to see him, but it was hard to not be able to pick him up and love on him. But he was too busy anyway. He ran around the hospital room, talking and yelling as loud as he could. It was heart-wrenching when he left.

The next morning we got the test results back and everything was negative! The cerclage was a go!! It was such good news. So that morning, at 9:30, they wheeled me into an operating room (in the NICU, which was kind of scary) and got to work. I’m not going to go into a ton of details about a cerclage, except to say it is a stitch put in the cervix to keep it from continuing to dilate & efface and that the procedure in itself, does not allow the woman to have any dignity. I was INCREDIBLY glad when it was over! I was also incredibly relieved when it was over. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted.

I still have several months of bed rest awaiting me, but knowing that it is going to be much harder for my cervix to betray me by continuing to dilate is very comforting.

Bring on the bed rest!

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