I woke up on Wednesday morning just like it was any other day. Blue and I were home a lone and I had a plan to get some work done before getting ready for my regularly scheduled prenatal appointment that afternoon. I always look forward to these appointments. I love hearing that my baby is growing normally and hearing the baby’s heartbeat. This day I was especially excited because I had another ultrasound scheduled. We had an ultrasound 4 weeks before, but the baby was lying in such a way that the ultrasound tech was unable to get a good look at some things, including gender.
So another ultrasound was scheduled. And I was excited about it.
The baby looked great during the ultrasound. Had a really good heartbeat and all the measurements were normal for the baby’s gestational age. It was such a relief to see that my baby was growing and developing normally. Unfortunately we weren’t able to get a good look at gender again – baby must have been feeling modest because baby put it’s feet down in the way of the money shot. But, I thought, that’s OK – we didn’t need to know the gender to have a healthy baby.
Then the ultrasound tech wanted to check the length of my cervix.
I didn’t think much of it, because this ultrasound tech has always checked the length of my cervix during ultrasounds. However, I did start to get a little worried when she couldn’t see it with the regular transducer. Instead she had to use the vaginal transducer to get a good look at it. And then she got quiet. When I asked her about it, she just told me that my doctor would go over the results with me.
Normally, there is no wait at my doctor’s office, but the wait on Wednesday seemed to last forever. Thankfully my mother-in-law had come with me to help with Blue and was able to keep me distracted from worrying too much. When my name was finally called and we all went back into the examining room, I was informed that my doctor wanted to check me (which means a pants off appointment & not my favorite thing). The doctor checked me and somberly told me that my cervix has thinned significantly. That at 22 weeks pregnant, a woman’s cervix should be around 3 cm long and mine was a little over 1 cm and to top it off, it was already dilated to 1 cm. Definitely not a good thing. This, in fact, was the same diagnosis I got when I started having complications at the end of my pregnancy with Blue, just 10 weeks sooner. My doctor told me that he was going to refer me to a high risk specialist in Indianapolis and then would call me that afternoon or the next day with an appointment.
I got a call less than an hour later.
My OB himself called me to schedule the appointment. I really love my OB and believe that he is a great doctor, but phone skills maybe aren’t his strength. I was sitting in my mother-in-law’s car when he called. I answered the phone a little hesitantly since I didn’t recognize the number and a voice says, “Michelle?” I said yes it was me. Then he says, “Are you home already?” I replied that no, I wasn’t home. The voice then says, “Oh, you must be on your cell phone.” I said that I was and then I recognized the voice as my OB’s and smiled to myself. He then went on to explain that I had an appointment scheduled for the next morning at 9:00 am, however he couldn’t remember the doctor’s name and he wasn’t 100% sure of the location. However, he did know the name of the doctor in charge of the practice, I would just be seeing one of his colleagues. I assured my OB that I would find the office and could make the appointment the next morning.
And the whole time I was FREAKING OUT! I’m not a doctor, but it didn’t take being a doctor to know that the baby, my 22 week baby, was in danger of coming. I tried not to cry or worry too much, but it was really hard. I felt like I was on the brink of crying all the time. All I could think about was months of bed rest and how much I hated bed rest when I was pregnant with Blue. I thought about having a pre-term baby and all the complications that come with prematurity. I really lost it when I thought about Blue. I knew bed rest would mean that it would be hard or almost impossible for me to care for him or play with him. And Blue’s too little to understand what’s going on. But maybe I was jumping the gun? I decided to try to stay calm until talking with the specialists the next day.
This was getting long, so I had to cut it off. Come back later for the rest of the story.