As Blue’s first birthday gets closer, I’ve been feeling compelled to document his birth story. I’m sure that someday he’s going to want to hear about it and I want to get as many of the details down before I begin to forget them.
As with every baby, Blue has a unique story about how he came to be.
HandyMan and I knew we wanted to have children before we got married. We had decided to wait a year and then let nature take it’s course. I had reached a point in my life where I REALLY wanted to have a baby and was excited to go off birth control and hopefully, get pregnant. I had assumed that it would be easy for HandyMan and I to get pregnant. We were (and are) both in relatively good shape and health. In addition to that, the women in my family seem to get pregnant easily, in fact one of my family members got pregnant while on the pill…twice!
Unfortunately it was not that easy for us. After 6 months of being off the birth control pill, my body had still not regulated itself. Without going into too many details, things were not the way they were before birth control. I called the doctor and the nurse told me that it could take a few more months for my cycle to normalize. I resigned myself to being patient and 3 months later, when things seemed to be getting even more abnormal, I called the doctor again. This time they scheduled an appointment.
I arrived at my doctor’s appointment pretty convinced that I wasn’t ovulating (releasing an egg) every month. The doctor did a very simple and pain free test and confirmed that I was not ovulating. He prescribed a hormone to start my period and a round of Clomid, a common fertility drug that induces ovulation.
The first month that I was on Clomid was interesting. I had a lot of mood swings. I would get mad at HandyMan about something stupid. I would know it was stupid and irrational, but I felt like I had no control over it. When we didn’t get pregnant that month I was SO disappointed. I didn’t want to go through another month of ups and downs and I told myself that I would never be able to get pregnant or have a baby. I cried a lot that month.
We decided to do another round of Clomid the next month. My doctor increased the dosage a little and I think the mood swings increased with it. When I went to the doctor’s for the monthly blood test to determine whether or not I ovulated, I was hopeful. Two days later I called to see what the results were and the nurse told me that my numbers indicated a small ovulation. Whatever that meant. I was certain that month had been another failure.
Then my period didn’t come.
I refused to get my hopes up. Over the past year there had been several months that my period didn’t come or was a couple weeks late. Each time I had gotten my hopes up and taken pregnancy tests only to be crushed when they were negative and my period eventually showed up.
There were other signs of pregnancy, but I refused to pay attention to them. I just didn’t feel like I could take another disappointment! Finally, HandyMan convinced me to take another home pregnancy test, and one evening, when we were both home from work, we did.
Immediately, the line showed up. I didn’t even have to wait.
We were, officially pregnant!